my mom told me that in high school she use to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad
My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”
but she hit send when all it said was
I am afraid
*throws lamp at you* you need to lighten the fuck up
those blogs with the url danisnotonfire but changed a little bit are literally the devil
i know right they’re so annoying
i agree they’re just the worst
why would they even do it? it’s terrible, really
i don’t even know if i am the real me anymore
Oh, so women can’t dress how they want because men can’t control their sexual urges? When dogs can’t control their sexual urges, we cut off their balls.
I think I’m onto something here.
a shooting star is actually someone driving off rainbow road